If I could go back in time and give my younger writer-self a pep talk, I’d skip advice on the craft lectures. Writing techniques, storytelling structure, and grammar—those things are learnable and easy to practice with some time and self-motivation.
What I really wish I had known? The lessons about persistence, patience, and perspective that no writing course teaches. Because writing isn’t just about stringing together words—it’s about building resilience, trusting the process, and learning to thrive in uncertainty.
So whether you’re an aspiring novelist, a screenwriter pounding the pavement, or a seasoned pro facing your hundredth rejection, here are three hard-earned truths I wish I had known from day one.
1. Success Takes Longer Than You Think (And That’s Okay!)
I’ve been writing professionally since I was 19 years old. And while I won’t reveal how many years have passed since then (a woman never tells!), I can tell you that writing success is a long game.
Sure, there are unicorn writers who sell their first book for seven figures or land their debut script with a major studio. But for most of us? That’s not how it happens. The reality is that writing is a marathon, not a sprint—and the sooner you accept that, the better.
What I Wish I Knew:
- The overnight success stories you hear about? They’re rarely overnight. There are years of unseen struggle behind them.
- Impatience leads to frustration and burnout. The key is learning how to enjoy the process even when you don’t see immediate results.
- Every word, every draft, every rejection letter is part of the journey—not a sign that you’re failing.
How to Apply This to Your Writing Life:
- Set realistic goals. Instead of “I need a bestseller by next year,” focus on “I want to finish a sharable draft in six months.”
- Celebrate small wins. Landed a meeting? Finished a chapter? Sent out a query? Got a meeting scheduled? These are milestones worth acknowledging.
- Find mentors who fuel your perseverance. I have a lovely handful of in the flesh human mentors. And a few deceased ones who taught me the value of art and humanity. But two of my favorite literary ones are: Walking On Water by Madeline L’Engle and anything by Marianne Williamson—both remind me to stay faithful to the work because it is my daily prayer.
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2. Stop Being So Hard on Yourself (Seriously, It’s Not Helping)
Writers are masters of self-criticism. We revise endlessly, pick apart every sentence, and compare ourselves to bestselling authors, forgetting that even they had first drafts or entire first books that were absolute garbage.
I’ll be honest—I still struggle with this. I have a deeply ingrained work ethic (shoutout to my workaholic upbringing!) that makes it hard to slow down and trust the process. But here’s what I’ve learned:
What I Wish I Knew:
- Pushing yourself is good. Be disciplined, set goals, and write even when you don’t feel like it.
- But self-punishment is not. Constantly beating yourself up, comparing yourself to others, or never feeling “good enough” leads to creative burnout.
- Writing is supposed to be a balance of discipline and joy. If you forget to play, to explore, to be still—you’re cutting off the very thing that fuels great writing. How to Apply This to Your Writing Life:
- Make time for creative play. Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way taught me that taking a break isn’t “wasting time”—it’s refilling the well.Treat yourself to artist’s dates.
- Reframe self-doubt. Look for the little nods along the way that show you you’re on the right track. Instead of thinking, I’m not good enough, shift to I’m learning and growing with every page I write.
- Remember that first drafts are supposed to be messy. No one’s rough draft is bookstore-ready. Perfectionism kills creativity. Done is better than perfect.
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3. Gratitude is a Writing Superpower
I spent years dwelling on the woulda, coulda, shouldas—rehashing missed opportunities, comparing my journey to others, and focusing on what I didn’t have rather than what I did.
And you know what? That kind of thinking is toxic. It drags you down, saps your creativity, and makes the writing life feel like an endless battle instead of the adventure it truly is.
Then I discovered something that changed everything: Gratitude.
What I Wish I Knew:
- A daily gratitude practice rewires your brain to focus on what’s working, instead of what’s missing.
- Gratitude isn’t just about appreciating success—it’s about valuing the little things around you every day– a beautiful sunrise, a hummingbird in your garden, a delicious home cooked meal.
- Gratitude attracts opportunity. When you approach writing (and life) with thankfulness, you open the door for unexpected connections, ideas, and breakthroughs.
How to Apply This to Your Writing Life:
- Start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for—especially when you feel discouraged. Revisit that journal every so often. Especially when you’re feeling defeated.
- Reframe rejection. Instead of seeing it as failure, view it as proof that you’re in the game. (Every “no” brings you closer to a “yes!”)
- Do small things with love. Whether it’s writing a chapter, researching for your story, brainstorming a plot, or sending an email—infuse it with intention and appreciation.
One of my favorite books on this is One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp—it transformed the way I approach writing and life.
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Final Thoughts: Write with Patience, Grace, and Gratitude
If I could sit down with my younger self, I’d tell her this:
✍️ Be patient. Writing success takes time—sometimes longer than you think. But the journey is the reward. Make and meet small goals and track them! You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish in a year!
✍️ Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep going. Done is better than perfect.
✍️ Be grateful. Even on the hard days, even in the face of rejection—because every word you write is a step forward. And your life is more than the sum or your written words!
Writing isn’t just a profession. It’s a lifelong relationship. The more you nurture it with perseverance, self-compassion, and gratitude, the more fulfilling it becomes.
So next time you find yourself thinking, woulda, coulda, shoulda—remind yourself:
✅ You are making progress.
✅ You are enough.
✅ And your efforts matter.
Now, go write that next page. 💙
