I just returned from two months in France, with a quick stop in Milan where I had the incredible opportunity to teach a crime writing workshop to a class of masters level students at the Catholic University. This is the sixth time I’ve been taught at the school and it holds lovely memories of both students and the great city of Milan.
I usually travel here with my husband, but this time, he couldn’t join me. So I invited a good friend. At the last minute she had a medical emergency and had to cancel.
Bummer. That meant I was traveling alone for five days. Good thing I had been to the city, know it well, and have a great sense of direction.
I also have a sharp sense of awareness.
I’ve spent my life immersed in crime stories. From growing up as a coroner’s daughter to writing crime fiction and studying real-world cases, I’ve learned that danger isn’t something reserved for the pages of a book. It’s real. It’s unpredictable. And it often preys on the unprepared and those who stick out or aren’t paying attention to their surroundings.
Every year, thousands of women become victims of violence while traveling. Some stories make headlines. Most don’t. The difference between those who become victims and those who stay safe? Awareness. Preparedness. And a refusal to ignore their intuition.
But that’s not going to stop me from traveling and it shouldn’t stop you either. Here’s what I know: You don’t have to live in fear. You don’t have to give up adventure. What you do need is awareness. Preparation. A sharp intuition and a mindset that says, I refuse to be an easy target.
Because safety isn’t paranoia, it’s power.
Safety is Your Superpower
In Milan, during my crime writing workshop, we talk about the criminal mindset analyzing how criminals choose their victims and how the smallest choices, like ignoring a bad feeling or sharing your location on social media, can change outcomes.
One thing is clear: Criminals exploit vulnerability. They rely on distraction, hesitation, not blending in, and looking unsure and lost.
But here’s the good news: When you trust your instincts, stay aware, and take smart precautions, you drastically reduce your risk.
Red Flags You Should Never Ignore:
- That creeping gut feeling that something’s off? Believe it.
- Someone who invades your space or tests small boundaries? It’s intentional.
- A “friendly local” offering unsolicited help when you’re lost? Be wary. Don’t engage.
- Anyone who makes you feel pressured to stay? Leave immediately.
- Someone trying to get your attention or creating a spectacle. Walk away.
Intuition is your first line of defense. Listen to it. Trust it. Act on it.
What Milan Taught Me: Where You Sleep Matters
During my time in Milan, I stayed at a charming hotel with incredible views. I’ve stayed here before so I know the layout and the neighborhood. Even so, I never let my guard down. I chose a room above the first floor (high enough to deter break-ins, low enough for quick evacuation), double-locked my door, and used a portable doorstop alarm every night.
I also get to know the front desk staff and check in with them once I arrive and check out with them once I’m leaving. Just a simple hello and a few niceties are fine. Enough to let them know you are coming and going.
Why? Because I’ve seen too many cases where hotel security failures led to tragedy. I know how predators choose their targets: solo travelers, easy access hotels, poor security, and isolated rooms.
Jennifer’s Non-Negotiables for Lodging:
- Pick the right room: Stay between the 2nd and 6th floors, high enough to avoid break-ins, low enough for a fire escape.
- Lock it down: Always use the deadbolt, latch, and a portable door lock.
- Avoid isolated rentals: No reviews? No security cameras? Hard pass.
- Check for tampering: Place a tissue at your door when you leave. If it’s disturbed when you return, someone’s been inside.
What’s in My Travel Safety Kit, Tools a Crime Writer Swears By
When you’ve spent your life studying crime, you pack differently. Every item in my bag has a purpose, not out of fear, but out of preparedness. Because safety tools aren’t about living in paranoia, they’re about traveling with confidence. These small items, chosen from years of experience and real-world cases, can mean the difference between being vulnerable and being empowered.
I’ve traveled through bustling cities, remote villages, and places where English wasn’t spoken, and these tools have never left my side. Trust me: They’re compact, easy to carry, and could be the smartest travel companions you’ll ever have.
My Must-Haves for Travel Safety:
Crossbody Anti-Theft Bag: Muggers love easy targets, dangling purses and backpacks worn on your back. A crossbody bag with RFID-blocking and lockable zippers keeps your valuables close and protected from pickpockets. And here’s my tip: Never hang your bag on the back of a chair, even at a café. Secure it to your seat so that you are leaning against it or wear it across your body.
Personal Safety Alarm: I can’t emphasize this enough, sound is a weapon. Predators hate attention, and a 130-decibel alarm can send them running faster than you can scream. Clip it somewhere accessible (like your purse strap) and test it before your trip. It’s lightweight, but powerful.
Portable Door Lock: Hotel room security failures are more common than you’d think, I’ve read the police reports. A portable door lock is one of the cheapest, smartest ways to prevent unwanted entry. It’s easy to use, works on most doors, and could buy you crucial seconds in an emergency. Because the strongest defense is prevention.
VPN for Wi-Fi Security: Never log onto airplane or hotel or café WiFi. I know, it’s tempting and it’s usually free. But don’t do it. In today’s digital world, predators aren’t just on the street, they’re online. Hackers exploit public Wi-Fi networks at airports, cafés, and hotels to steal passwords and personal data. A VPN (Virtual Private Network) encrypts your connection, making your online activity invisible to cybercriminals. It’s digital self-defense.
Mini Flashlight: Power outages, dark alleys, or unfamiliar paths, light is security. A mini flashlight (preferably with a strobe function) not only helps you see but can disorient an attacker if aimed at their eyes. I carry one with a wrist strap for quick access, because in an emergency, seconds matter. For extra personal safety, avoid alleys and untraveled streets.
Spyderco Folding Knife (Multi-Tool Option): This is my newest addition, and it’s more than just a knife, it’s a multi-purpose survival tool. Use it to cut seat belts in an emergency, open packages, or break glass if trapped. Many versions include a screwdriver, bottle opener, and glass breaker, making it a compact powerhouse. Be sure to pack it in your checked luggage to comply with airline rules. In some countries where knives are restricted, I carry a tactical pen instead, a self-defense tool that blends function with protection.
Outsmarting Scammers & Predators, Lessons from the Field
While exploring Nice. France two years ago, I saw a classic scam unfold, a “friendly” stranger came up to a couple asking for directions, then grabbed the woman’s purse and fled. The couple looked flustered. Then, the man sprung into action and actually ran after the thief and recovered the bag. So cool!
But another time, I was waiting on a train car out of Venice. There was a large family settling in behind us. They had placed their luggage in the compartment in the front of the car. We turned our back for one second and a thief had entered the train and stole an entire family’s luggage. Had any of us been paying attention, we could have stopped this.
The psychology is always the same: distraction is their weapon. Awareness is your shield. Scammers rely on your confusion, politeness, or panic to exploit you. But once you know their tricks, you become a far harder target. Even something as simple as looking people in the eyes and giving them a hard stare is enough to deter a low level thief. They want the easy grab and no trouble. Project that you will give them trouble and you decrease your chances of being their target.
Common Scams Predators Use, and How to Beat Them:
The Fake Taxi Scam: You arrive in a new city, and a “helpful” driver offers you a ride with a “broken” meter. Suddenly, you’re overcharged, or worse, driven somewhere unsafe. This almost happened to me the first time we arrived in Milan. Thankfully, our host had warned us of this scam and given us the name of a legit taxi service to use. Nevertheless, we were approached my multiple fake taxi drivers while we were inside Linate airport. Just say no thank you. Be firm and continue on your way.
Jennifer’s Rule: Only use official taxis or rideshares you request yourself through a verified app. Before getting in, verify the driver’s name and license plate.
The Bait & Switch Scam: A young, single friend of mine in Phoenix called a rideshare to pick her up. When it arrived, the plate number didn’t match the one the rideshare app gave her. The driver didn’t look like the one in the picture either. She refused the ride. Later, she learned that this is a common bait and switch scam. The real driver and the fake driver are friends working together to “capture” young females. How horrifying!
Jennifer’s Rule: If you can, use rideshare with another person. Not alone. This isn’t always possible, so make sure the plates, names and car descriptions match. Check before you enter the car. Share your ride with a friend or two. If you get into trouble, call 911 immediately and also alert your friends. Jump from the car when you’re stopped. Use your screamer or other protection devices to fight your way out of that vehicle as soon as possible.
The Bracelet Scam: A scammer approaches you with a smile and slips a “free” bracelet onto your wrist. The moment is on, they demand payment, or worse, their partner pickpockets you while you argue. This scam thrives in crowded tourist spots. When we went on our Viking Christmas cruise last year, we were warned multiple times about protecting our bags and bodies from pick pockets. Try to stay out of super crowded areas. But if you must enter, empty your pockets and keep belongs close to your chest. Carry small bills or credit cards to make payments.
Jennifer’s Rule: Never let anyone touch you or your belongings. But if a kind driver offers to lift your luggage into the trunk, watch him as he puts it there. Never let it out of your sight. And never, ever let your passport out of your possession.
The Closed Attraction Scam: You arrive at a famous site, and a “friendly local” says it’s closed. But “lucky you”, they know a better spot and offer to take you there. It’s a setup designed to isolate you for a robbery or worse.
Jennifer’s Rule: Always verify hours online or through official sources. Never follow strangers to unfamiliar places. Use official tour guide sources or travel agents. It’s worth the small extra fee for peace of mind and a relaxing vacation experience.
Trust Your Gut, It’s the Most Powerful Crime Prevention Tool
I’ll never forget the time a dear friend trusted a man because she was in a safe, controlled environment. She told me later she felt like something was off, but dismissed it because she didn’t want to be rude, she accepted the glass of wine he bought her from the bar. It was ruffied and that drink cost her dearly.
Women’s DNA is infused with that spidy sense to alert them when something is wrong. This plays out in my marriage all the time. I’m usually the first one to cry “something’s not right here.” My husband doesn’t see or feel it at all. But he trusts my instinct and we change course.
I’m glad this is built into the female DNA. However, social conditioning and my “midwest nice” often pressure me to be ‘nice’ or avoid awkwardness. I’ve had to learn to override that conditions and rely on my spidy sense! It never fails me.
Here’s what every predator counts on: your hesitation, your niceness, your distraction. They test boundaries, brushing too close, asking intrusive questions, lingering when they shouldn’t. But before your brain fully processes the threat, your gut already knows. It’s that whisper inside you that says, Something isn’t right here.
And I can tell you from years of studying crime: women who survive and remove themselves immediately are often those who listen to that whisper, and act on it without apology.
So let me be clear:
You don’t owe anyone your time.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
And you certainly don’t owe anyone your politeness if you feel unsafe.
Walk away. Say no. Give hard stares. Make a scene. Trusting your gut isn’t rudeness, it’s self-protection. And it could save your life.
Be Ready for the Worst, Not Afraid of It
Too often, women are told that thinking about worst-case scenarios is negative or doomsday. But from my experience in forensic crime research, victims rarely expected danger until it’s too late. The women who lower their predator risk and avoid being a victim of crime are often the ones who acted quickly because they had a plan.
Having a crisis plan isn’t about dwelling on fear; it’s about removing the freeze from fight-or-flight. When you’ve already decided what you’ll do, you don’t waste precious seconds. You move.
Here are a few other little tips I use when traveling. When I was in Milan alone, I shared my location with my husband and another friend so they knew where I was. I tried to walk everywhere and not use a taxi or rideshare. Public trains, trams, and buses lower the predator risk, in my opinion. Besides, walking is a great way to get those steps in and see the city!
I checked in often with my husband, family members, and friends.
I didn’t stay out late at night. I traveled on well lit streets. I went to restaurants that were occupied, not empty. I didn’t glue my eyes to my phone when walking around. I kept it in my purse or pocket and if I needed to check directions, I stopped, looked around, and then reoriented myself before proceeding and putting my phone away again. I refused to use my phone on public transportation. Heads up, eyes out.
I live by this plan not because I am afraid, but because I understand that preparedness is power. And here’s the truth, being ready for the worst doesn’t make you paranoid. It gives you confidence.
