Let’s get real here. I’m not going to mince words, because it won’t do any of us any good. As women, we are prey. What I mean is that we are the primary victims of crime. And we do ourselves a disservice when we don’t face that fact. It’s the natural order of things since the creation of humankind, and it’s not going to go away because you want to deny it or think you can rise above it with some feminist battlecry. I think we all know better than that.
The good news is this is not where the story ends if you face it, accept it, and then build a plan to deal with it.
I was raised with two sisters and forward thinking parents who taught us to be bold in facing our fears, but also, to always have a plan so that when we come up against scary things, we know what actions to take to limit the fear factors and come on the side.
The best plan we can make as “prey” is to focus on how to lower our predator risk level.
Let’s talk about some ways we can make a plan and take proactive steps in doing that.
Here are five everyday habits that any woman can do to lower their predator risk level.
1. Situational Awareness: Be Present, Not Paranoid
One of the simplest yet most powerful things you can do is to be present and mindful in any space you are in. Private or public space. Cultivating a sense of awareness with your surroundings. If it’s a place you frequent, get a baseline. Who’s usually there? Who’s not usually there? Who should be there?
If you’re walking down the street– even a familiar one– instead of being glued to your phone, look around, take in the sights, sounds, and people around you. Notice what’s up ahead and what’s behind. If you’re in a private space like your home or office, same rules apply.
Actionable Tips to Enhance Your Awareness:
- Look Up and Engage: Resist the urge to bury your face in your phone while walking or waiting in public places. Keep your head up, make eye contact with people, and be an active participant in your environment.
- Scan Periodically: Make it a habit to scan your surroundings every few minutes, especially in places like parking lots, public transit stations, or unfamiliar areas.
- Notice Unusual Behavior: Trust your gut! If someone seems out of place, is behaving erratically, or is paying an uncomfortable amount of attention to you, don’t ignore that feeling. This is why it’s important to get a baseline of a place and what constitutes normal behavior.
Awareness is your first line of defense. It’s about being present in the moment, consistently evaluating your surroundings, trusting your instincts, and recognizing when something just doesn’t feel right.
2. Trust Your Instincts: Don't Ignore Those Red Flags
Some paranoia can be a good thing. The feelings we have rise up for a reason. If we feel like something’s off, it probably is. If we feel nervous, there’s usually a good reason why. Don’t be too quick to dismiss these feelings. Instead, learn to read them and read the situations around you.
Our instincts are powerful tools, honed over centuries of evolution. They’re our brain’s way of processing subtle cues and warning us of potential danger, even when we can’t consciously articulate what’s wrong.
If something feels off, don’t dismiss it. That gut feeling might be telling you something important. Maybe it’s a person who’s making you uncomfortable, a situation that seems risky, or a place that just gives you the creeps. Whatever it is, trust your instincts and take action. Don’t worry about seeming rude.
Actionable Tips for Following Your Gut:
- Don’t Dismiss Your Feelings: If a situation or person makes you uneasy, don’t hesitate to act on that feeling. Cross the street, leave the area, or seek help if necessary.
- Practice Small Actions: If you think someone is following you, duck into a store or restaurant and ask for assistance. If you feel uncomfortable on a date, politely excuse yourself and call a friend or family member to pick you up.
- Learn to Say “No” Firmly: Whether it’s someone invading your personal space or pressuring you in any way, practice setting clear boundaries and saying “no” with confidence.
Acting on your instincts isn’t overreacting; it’s about lowering your risk level. Your safety comes first.
3. Practice Safer Rideshare and Public Transportation Use
Rideshares and public transportation are incredibly convenient, but they also come with their own set of safety considerations. By taking a few simple precautions, you can make these options safer and more empowering.
Rideshare Safety Tips:
- Verify Your Ride: Always double-check that the driver’s photo, name, and license plate match the information in the app before getting into the car.
- Sit in the Back: Sitting in the back seat gives you added control and distance from the driver.
- Share Your Trip: Use the “share trip” feature in the app to let a friend or family member track your ride in real-time.
- Trust Your Gut: If something feels off about the driver or the situation, don’t hesitate to cancel the ride and find another way to get to your destination.
Attention: Ladies, good news! Driverless cars are here! They’ve been testing them in my Phoenix neighborhood for over four years. I use them whenever I need to and highly prefer them over traditional Ubers. No driver! Safe, calm driving with no weird smells or offensive music choices! This is going be a great option for all of us in the very near future. Look up: Waymo
Public Transportation Safety Tips:
- Choose Well-Lit Areas: Avoid waiting at empty bus stops or train stations late at night. Instead, opt for well-lit, populated areas. If you have to wait at an empty stop, keeping moving around. Don’t be a static target.
- Stay Aware: Keep your belongings close to you and your valuables hidden. If you’re wearing a coat, try to keep your purse inside of it. Stay off those phones while waiting for and riding transport. I know it’s hard, but being the victim of a crime is harder.
- Strategic Seating: If possible, sit near the exits or security cameras. Sit up front near the driver.
By taking these small steps, you can navigate your commute with confidence and peace of mind.
4. Be Smart with Technology and ATMs
In today’s digital world, technology can be both a powerful tool and a potential vulnerability. Similarly, using ATMs requires a bit of extra vigilance to protect yourself and your finances.
Tech-Savvy Safety Tips:
- Stay Charged: Keep your phone charged at all times. If you’re dipping low on battery and can’t charge, set your phone to low battery mode to conserve. Set up emergency features like speed-dialing a trusted contact or using a personal safety app.
- Share Wisely: Be mindful of oversharing your location or plans on social media. Wait to post about where you’ve been until after you’ve left. Don’t post pictures that contain your license plate or street address.
- Secure Your Accounts: Use strong passwords and enable two-factor authentication for all your online accounts.
ATM Safety Tips:
- Choose Safe Locations: Use ATMs in well-lit, populated areas, preferably indoors.
- Be Aware: Pay attention to your surroundings and avoid withdrawing large sums of cash in public. Stay off your phone!
- Protect Your PIN: Cover your PIN while entering it, and secure your cash before walking away from the ATM. Use drive ups when possible.
Smart technology use and financial awareness aren’t just about protecting your assets; they’re also about giving you greater control over your personal safety.
5. Create a Personal Safety Plan: Be Prepared, Not Scared
Having a personal safety plan in place can significantly reduce anxiety and empower you to handle unexpected situations. Think of it like a toolkit: the more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel.
Actionable Tips for Creating Your Safety Plan:
- Map Out Safe Routes: Whether you’re walking, jogging, or commuting, choose well-lit, populated routes and avoid isolated paths or shortcuts. Run where others are present, if possible. Let someone know when you’re going out and when you’re expected back in.
- Build a Trusted Network: Identify friends, family members, or coworkers you can call in an emergency. Make sure they know how to find you or help you if needed.
- Learn Basic Self-Defense: Consider taking a self-defense class to learn simple techniques that can help you protect yourself in a dangerous situation.
- Carry Personal Safety Tools: Items like a whistle, pepper spray, or a personal alarm, or door alarm (for hotels) can be incredibly effective. Practice using them properly.
A personal safety plan is all about lowering your risk level. Once you start framing everything with this lens, you’ll gain control and confidence. You’ll feel less vulnerable to chance.
Conclusion: Confidence, Not Fear
Safety is about empowerment, empowerment means having a plan. The best plan is taking consistent, regular steps to always lower your risk level. By adopting these five everyday habits, you’re taking proactive steps to build a low risk life and gain peace of mind. Remember, the goal isn’t to live in fear, but to live with confidence and control over your surroundings.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!
What do you think about being called prey? What do you think about the plan? What steps are you already taking? What should you be taking? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with me on social media—I’d love to hear your ideas and experiences!
Additional Resources:
- The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE or online at https://www.rainn.org/
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or online at https://ncadv.org/get-help
Remember: You are prey. Accept it and don’t let that scare you. It’s the natural order of things on this earth and it’s not going to go away because you want to deny it or think you can rise above it. Reverse fear by making a regular plan to lower your risk level. Incorporate them into your every day life. Soon, they’ll become habits.
